Interesting lunchtime.

1) I went out to my car (needed to go into town). As I approached the car, I noticed a large scratch on the bumper. “Damn”, thought I. “I don’t remember that being there”. So I am standing there pressing my remote key fob to unlock the car – nothing happens. I am just about to put the key in the lock when I see my car parked two spaces further away. Whoops…

2) I am walking into a shop in town, when this rather large lady trips over a bump in the pavement. It was like watching it in slow motion as she stumbles forward, but being fat, she was unable to correct her footing and falls forwards, hitting the floor. I check that she was OK and gave her a hand to stand up again. She said that she was OK, but had hurt her pride. I commented on her being lucky that she didn’t bang her head. Then I noticed that she had an enormous bosom – built-in airbags !!!